I want to blog to tell you this will be a new kind of story. It will be about my kids, whom I adore. But also about a problem I have been hiding. After nursing Finn for almost 14 months I went right back to drinking. It wasn't daily at first, but the thoughts and drive were. I am going to embark on a 30 day free of alcohol test and let you know how that goes.

He's here, He's here, and he's healthy

I haven't posted anything ina really long time because I was so nervous my whole pregnancy.  I was pretty irrational in fact.  I was convinced he would have horns on his head and all sorts of weird problems. The 20 week ultrasound showed that he was a healthy little boy and that everything else they saw looked great.  When I came back for my 24 week appointment they needed a few more views that they weren't able to get at the previous ultrasound,  and that was when I got hit with some worrisome news.  They had noticed that the baby had a little hydronephrosis. My doctor said that was very common and that it usually resolves itself before the baby is even born.  The other concern was that the baby had a single umbilical artery.  I can't explain it very well but if you look up SUA on the web you will find a lot of stuff.  Basically they watch you pretty closely with non stress tests and ultrasounds to see if the baby is growing well and if they are in distress at all.  My doctor also recommended that we deliver at 37 weeks because the risks for losing the baby are higher with SUA.  Because the placenta can be compromised (and his was..we found out later)  So we knew our little guy was going to be on the small side. Going on the internet and googling medical conditions is never a good idea though when you are already an overly anxious person and pregnant. SUA is linked with Down's syndrome among other things. 

I have a great OB whom I love and trust completely so when he told me not to worry and everything would be all right, I tried very hard to believe him. We had  twice weekly non stress tests starting at 31 weeks and watched him on ultrasound to monitor his growth.  And everything was going good but I was still relieved at getting him out a little early.

Tuesday July 16th was the day and there was not a lot of sleep to be had in our house the night before.  So much excitement to hold my baby, and nerves that everything would be all right, and also a little bit of morning the last minutes of my pregnancy.  Last time I will ever go into the hospital heavy with my baby and so much excitement.  The last time I will ever hear the excitement in my husband's voice when he sees our baby and tells me "he's okay honey, he really okay!" And see the look in eyes when he looks at our new tiny baby and falls in love with him.

But back to that morning... we got there right at 7 and got things started, bloodwork for me and monitoring of the baby.  Then my doctor popped in to say hello and that everything was running on time.  John got his clothes to wear for the OR room and was looking all ready.  Now it was time for me to walk my large body to the OR room.  The anesthesiologist was great and was able to get the spinal in quick and easy.  And then everything happens so fast, that was about 9am and they brought John back to where I was.  There was a little bit of a weird sensation with the pulling and pressure and I definitely felt a weird sensation when they pulled the baby out.  I heard someone call out 9:13 and then I heard the little cry that you always wait for.  They moved him to the warmer table where I got my first glimpse of him.  So beautiful and tiny and blonde.  A whole 5lbs and 4 oz of fiestiness.  After he was cleaned up and the APGARS taken he was wrapped and placed right on my chest for some skin to skin time.  Such an awesome moment to have the one little person you have waited 9 months to meet (or all your life) is there and he is gorgeous and healthy and so so alert.  There were a couple of concerns with his breathing and his blood sugars were low but our pediatrician wasn't worried and he was going to stay with me for the remainder of our stay. 

 Can you see my complete happiness of having this child in my arms??  So So much love and happiness here

Sweet little Finn Barron

 Jack and Charley meet their new brother finally.  I think they were a little nervous.

 Mackenzie and Finn  (Oldest and youngest)

 

A sweet big brother kiss, melts my heart.


I have a little bit of post-partum depression but otherwise .  everything is pretty perfect.  I still can't believe he is here.  It doesn't seem like very long ago that he was just something I wanted so much, something I prayed for every night.  Now, exactly who and what I prayed for is here.

10 more days

For 15 weeks now I have known something that should make me the happiest girl ever.  Something I have wanted for so long.  Something that my husband and I went to counseling for because we weren't on the same page.  And then he said yes and it took longer than I ever thought for it to happen.  At least a long time in my mind. 

On a Monday in November I took a pregnancy test and there was just the very faintest line.  I wasn't even late so it was just wishful thinking on my part.  I had just had a very early pregnancy loss in October so I hadn't even had a a regular period yet.  So totally wasn't expecting it and if I hadn't just had my blood drawn a couple of weeks prior to make sure I had negative hcg I wouldn't have believed it at all.  But blood work confirmed it the next day.  And then the hcg level tripled in 48 hours (Thanksgiving day :) so it all looked good.  But no one should know they are pregnant at only 3 weeks because omg, this has already been the longest pregnancy.  

I will just say that John and I had a pregnancy loss at between 18 and 19 weeks 8 years ago, right before Jack.  Even though I have gone on to have two healthy live babies afterwards, that is the pregnancy that is most in my thoughts these days.  I wish I could shake it and start think more positive thoughts but it is so hard this time.  I have two devotional books that I read from every day and I pray a lot.    really can't say why I am so worried.  Maybe because this baby was so fought for?  And I am older so I worry about if something were to happen to this one, would  I be able to get pregnant again?  Whereas before, ( I know it sounds bad)  I just had the mentality that if something happens we can just try again.  But what if John wouldn't want to try again??  Because this pregnancy started out as twins and that really freaked him out.  I found out at my 7 week ultrasound that there were 2 little heartbeats.  I had been hoping and praying to see one and when the tech was almost finished... she said "oh, I can't believe I didn't see this before.  Look at that, that is another baby!"  It was a pretty sureal moment but even in the middle of my shock I thought how in the world am I going to tell John.  It was kind of an emotional weekend but he surprised me and handled it pretty well. 

At my next appointment at about 11 weeks I had another ultrasound to check on the growth of the babies. Unfortunately, there was only one heartbeat.  I was crushed but at the same time so happy to see that one was okay and still had a strong heartbeat.  It was even wiggling on the screen as if to say I am going to be okay.  I guess vanishing twin is a very common thing.  We can find out so early that we are pregnant now and sometimes these early ultrasounds aren't a good thing.  It probably happens more often than people know.  I definitely have mixed feelings about it.  I was excited at the idea of twins.  My dad is a twin and my sister has twin girls.  My grandmother actually had 3 sets so it was kind of a neat idea to me.  On the other hand, I was extremely nervous about how we would handle it as a family when one is already going to change everything.  But of course then you feel guilty for feeling that way.  Ultimately, what I want out of this pregnancy is live, healthy baby. 

About a week or two of finding out that one twin was gone, I started having some bleeding.  Not too heavy just scary and not something I wanted to see.  So I went in and they did another ultrasound.  Everything looked good with my cervix, the placenta and the baby.  So, it could have been from the loss or just unexplained spotting.  It continued on and off for about another 10 days so my awesome Dr. would let me come in and do a fetal heart check on the doppler.  He would let me come in anytime I was nervous.  And every time he found the heartbeat quickly and easily.  At my last appointment since nothing unusual had been happening we decided to just schedule my next appointment for the 20 week ultrasound.  Which means I am going 3 1/2 weeks without the constant reasssurance that everything is ok. He told me that obviously he has an open door policy and that if I couldn't wait and got anxious to definitely call him and he would see me earlier.  I am trying really hard not to have to do that.  I want to be strong and just wait for March 15th. The hope is that I should be feeling some movement now or soon and that will help me to know that everything is okay.  I think that I have felt somethings.  I can't say definitely though if it is the baby I have felt or if was a gas bubble or something else.  I want some definite movements so that there is no doubt about it :)  This past week when I have gotten worried that this little peanut is still doing okay in there I have my secret weapon.  I rented a fetal doppler and I will put that on my belly and within a few seconds or minutes I have been able to hear my baby's beautiful heartbeat and then that gives me so peace for a while.  ( like 5 minutes)

So anyway in 10 days I finally have my big ultrasound that I have been waiting forever for.  I am so nervous for it.  Of course I want to see if we are having a boy or a girl because that part is so fun. But the scary part for me is making sure everything okay on the baby, do they have all their parts and does the heart look okay and nothing wrong with it's brain and that our little peanut doesn't have 8 arms or something.  So incredibly nervous about all of that.  So when I wake up tomorrow we will be down to 9 more days of worrying.  I just have to keep myself busy or sleep a lot :) 

So please send good thoughts and prayers my way for some peace in the next days and that this little peanut will prove to be very healthy on the screen and everything is perfect and how it should be. 

There is me at 18 weeks pregnant.  Such a big little bump already. I can't wait to see what is going on in there.  10 more days :)

roller coaster worry

On Mondays I work at Jack's school library for a few hours in the morning.  On those days we get there a little bit later than normal because I try to get all librarian cute instead of my normal yoga pants and hoodie look that I normally carry off so well.  This didn't go so well in Jack's mind yesterday.  He didn't realize that by the time we got there the bell would have already rang and it was time to head to class.  No play time outside.  That did not set well with Mr. Jack man.  He got really whiny with me in the hallway and told me how mean I was and that I had ruined his day.  And judging by the super crushed look on his face I probably did. So, I calmed him down as best as I could and sent him into the classroom not really knowing how his behavior was going to continue.

So flash forward a few minutes.  I am all happy checking in books and organizing them on their shelves and is so simple and mindless and allows me to not really have to think for a few minutes of my day.  But that was cut short as the office called into the room and I was sent to the office.  It wasn't so bad they just wanted to set up an appointment with me to go over our last screening we did on Jack and maybe see what is next.  The bummer thing is that for some odd reason they can ONLY meet on Tuesday mornings.  And guess who works at her real job every single Tuesday?  This girl.  So right away, anxiety about not being able to be at this meeting.  John will go instead and relay info to me as he remembers it.  He better remember it all word for word and tell me 800 times every time I ask so what did she say about that again?  Poor guy.  But no, Stacy the school psychologist is going to call me this week so that we can go over everything and she can help me move forward with a plan.  For now we are fairly confident that he has ADD.  So we will be able to talk to his pediatrician about meds that might help for that. So, you start feeling better like.... ok this isn't the end of the world.  We can so handle ADD we will rock it so hard it will make everyone want their kid to have ADD and mild CP.  But wait!  That is not all... also want to do more screenings to see if he has some other componets going on  that may
 be related to his CP.  I think they want us to pursue a neuro psych eval.  Which I am not even sure what all that entails. Or who we get it started with.  And I was at work when all of this important meeting was going on and I was missing it.  John did call at one point and put me on speaker phone.  They said not to worry.  She will guide me through what I need to do and she said she would call me later this week too so that she can catch up (and hear me cry) and we can over all of their findings on him and what she things we should be doing. 

I know I mentioned before how great all of these people are that are working for my son.  I just feel so blessed with them helping us and him get through this.  The school psychologist actually has a son named Jack who has cp and is more cognitively impaired than John.  So I think she pretty much understands all of this and my emotions. 


So now I just have fill out another questionnaire and wait for the results of that and wait for Stacy to fax all of her other finding to our pediatrician so we can get that ball rolling for meds for ADD.  And then just wait and see where we go with the neuro psych stuff.  Which scares me the most but I guess I won't really know what that is all about until she calls me.  So, I guess I just need to love on the little boy I have right now and know that we are on a great path of finding out what is best for him. A Jack plan.  We want school to be good and I never want him to come home on Friday and tell me school is evil again.  

Sorry this was kind of all rambly.  I worked all day and worried my head off about all of this.  Just had to get it out I guess.

ADHD?

 This is the first test Jack took along with the rest of his class. Note~ It doesn't even look like he tried here.  Then his teacher pulled him into a private room and let him retake it.

The first two on this test he was facing out the window so she then turned him so he had nothing to look at or distract him.  Look how much better he did here.  I don't know what this is going to mean for the future.  We are still waiting on the school psychologist's evaluation and the Connor's scores but it definitely looks like what we all suspect.  I just don't know how I feel about medication.  I think that would be my last resort but I just hate to see how he struggles with stuff.  I also got more math workbooks for him because that is another area that he is struggling with.  It is so hard to get him to work on it with me at home though.  That kid is stubborn and when he doesn't want to do something he can make a lot of noise. 


On another note~ We have way TOO much candy here.  I only made it to the Y once last week and there is this big old bowl of Halloween candy calling out my name.  We didn't have very many trick-or-treaters here this year.  We only made it one block ourselves.  It was so cold here this year!  I know we have been spoiled the last few years but oh man do I want to move somewhere warmer.  This girl is not made for cold weather and apparently neither are my kids. I can't believe they were done after only one block.

And on another note~ John's dad is here from Texas and we are having a nice visit but I have way TOO many boys using my bathroom!   I dream of the day when I have my own on suite bathroom.  Gah, must sell this house and move.  And move somewhere warm.

 And on a final unrelated note ~ No, sadly that is not me in a bathing suit sitting somewhere warm.... but I love here hair.  So, I just wanted to share that :)


Ummm, and maybe ADHD is inherited because I definitely seem to have it. Especially judging from this post.

Conner's

 What if I answer something wrong??  So stressfull!!  Not to mention some of these questions are honestly weird.  I felt guilty filling it out.

Hey, where is my food I ordered?

Charley has been so demanding and whining a lot lately.  It is really getting to us.  He might win and take us both down at this rate.  Maybe that is his goal.  So much darn whining.  Every night we tell him he has to do a certain amount of homework and then he can go do something fun like a game with mom or dad or something else he wants to do.  Cue the whining forever, so he gets one page out of 500 done and thinks that is good enough and he should be all done. "Now let's plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Moooooomieeeeeee, let's play.  come on come on lets play.  Pleeeeaaaaaaaaaseee!!  So then it is back to explaining that while it is great that you traced the letter A half assed on one worksheet, there are still 499 more waiting for us to do and omg, they are NEVER going away until we get them done.  This pre-K stuff is not kidding around anymore.  So ultimately no games were played with Charley tonight.  John and I did stay strong  and survived.  John might have cheated tonight though.  I'm not sure that he didn't have ear plugs in for part of that.  Hmmm  Then after all that Charley mentioned he wanted some toast before bed.  I was kind of getting things ready and he walks up and goes " hey where is my food I ordered?"   Eeeesh kid.   Who are we raising here?  Monsters I tell you Monsters!!! They are supposed to be in bed asleep right but they saw me coming up to my room with ice cream.  The chorus began of I want a cookie I want a cookie and so on.  So grabbed to cookies and threw one each to each of their locations.  Heard some chewing but no whining anymore. whoosh.  Maybe have a break until tomorrow morning.  UNTIL the homework is mentioned again.  Oh no, help us.

He looks sweet here, but don't let him fool you.  He will take you down no problem with is whining.

This one didn't want anything to do with that dumb old homework either. The Mo Willems website was way cooler.  He did however write out all of his words with me once. Yah, score one for me.

 

 

 

I want to order some food around here and have it delivered on a plate for me.  I want to whine about stuff I don't want to do.  Oh wait, I guess that is what I am doing here.  Hmmm yay  I don't like to have homework everynight with a 5 and 7 year old.  They are too stubborn and now I am whining.  Waaahhh
  

I did have a mini IEP meeting this morning with Jacks team at school.  It went really well and I am glad they made time in their schedules to discuss my worries right now.  I left the meeting feeling great and that my son is loved by them and they also want the very best for him.  A couple of the therapists worked with him way back at the ECC so they have seen all of the growths and gains he has made.   They told me that they are really not worried that anything spectrum is going on with him.  Their feeling is that there is some attention componet going on and some anxiety for him also.  He tends to want to be a perfectionist and it stresses him out if he can't do something right the first time. New things or changes also cause him some anxiety. We still think there is a sensory thing going on but when you are anxious you do tend to soothe yourself any way you can and for him it is rocking on his legs and spinning something in his hands and sometimes hand flapping.  Those are things that can sometimes look like autism things.  And really it is just anxiety.  So we are doing a couple of tests this week to grade his anxiety and attention levels and then the social worker will also observe him for a day.  The tests get sent out to be scored and then we should have recommendations soon.  I just feel so good that I think we are in the right hands.  All of these women that I sat with around the table told awesome stories about my son and showed me where they have seen improvement and how much they all get a kick out of him.  It is obvious that they are on team Jack and we all want him to do the best that he can. I prayed for another awesome teacher this year and I got it tenfold with all of these other ladies. OT, Speech, physical therapy, and the social worker.  The social worker even has a 7 year old son with CP (and he also has major anxiety) so she can completely relate.  Also one of the other therapists has a child with anxiety and is going to help me navigate all of that if the tests come back with what we believe they will. 

 So maybe I am like Charley.  I didn't order any food, but this team of Jack's is exactly what I prayed for.  So maybe they are my order for Jack.

 
 

Is there a magic hair growth pill

It is sooo short!! I went in for a trim today and this is what happened.  In my stylist's defense I think I totally confused her.  I told her that yes I still want to grow it out but can I have a long bob just like Jennifer Aniston?  I don't think the long part of my request is happening here. So, I guess I will be growing it out all over to just get it barely to my shoulders all over again. Why do I sabotage this hair growing thing every time and go back to the same mom bob?

View from the back.  Look how short.

And also, strangely greenish in this light.  I am going to eat some ice cream and go to bed and see if it longer in the morning.

I'm back?

It has been forever since I have posted anything.  It is going to be my goal to try and keep this little blog updated because I have really missed it.  I realized though how much I was stressing myself out over it.  I have a lot of blogs I follow and man there are some funny, well written blogs out there.  I was (still kind of am) beating myself up for not being just like them.  Not having the most interesting funny things to say or buying fun exciting things or decorating my house all cute.  But I do have memories I want to document and even if I am the only one who ever looks back on this blog, that is a good enough reason to keep it.

I had a funny video of Charley but it got deleted Saturday night when drinking at Polaski days and picture taking were mixed.  I am so bummed because my little 5 year old told me the other day that he wants a wife so that he can go shopping at the mall with her and have lunch and then play at the treehouse.  So cute, that little guy.  He comes out with the best statements.  He is having a little bit of a hard time adjusting to rules and structure at Pre-K.  I think we are doing better this 2nd month of school but I still get a little bit anxious every time I pick him up at school.  Whenever, I make eye contact with his teacher I am praying silently that she will say he had a good day.  I have had enough bad reports of him not listening and being too rough with the other kids.  But, I think last week we had 4 out of 5 days with good reports.  When they are good and listen they "fill their bucket" if they are not doing as they should they have to empty their buckets.  His bucket was full most of last week.   If he doesn't have a full bucket then he doesn't get his beloved Nabi that day.

 

Jack is in first grade this year and I seriously love his teacher.  Which is kind of funny because when I met her at the open house I was really worried that she wasn't right for Jack and that I didn't have warm fuzzies about her.  Turns out she is exactly what I prayed we would have for his teacher.  I have been in constant contact with her this year to make sure that we help Jack have the best year.  She is concerned about his inability to focus at times. He gets distracted way too easily.  For instance we worked on his spelling words a ton last week but when it came time for the test on Friday he only got one right.  I know he knew the words but she said he had a hard time staying on task.  I think there are still some sensory issues going on with him and we have his well child check up on Wednesday and I am going to bring it up to his pediatrician.  John was looking up a few of the things Jack does and he is concerned about some spectrum stuff.  I am not sure....... he does do the hand licking and the hand flapping but I think he is outgrowing it a little bit.  His teacher said that he is more of an observer of his peers but when they engage him he is more than happy to join in.  At the end of her last email she said she had more tricks up her sleeve to help him stay focused and at the end of her email she said "we are all on team Jack and please give him a hug for me and tell him he is awesome."  HOW awesome is that???  

That sweet boy wanted to hold my hand all the way home from school.  I even said at one point, you don't have to hold my hand if you don't want to.  He just held on a little tighter.

sick day or pj day debacle

So does the little boy in these pictures look so sick that he can't stay at school?  He was fine in the morning especially if you consider how much of a morning boy he is not.  But they didn't have school on Friday so he was excited that Thursday was his last day for the school week.  Both he and Charley did have runny noses for the last couple of days and a little bit of a cough......but you cant keep them home for every runny nose, right?

10 minutes after I dropped him off I got the dreaded phone call from the school.  The secretary said "Jack has a runny nose and he is pretty upset about it."  WTH, Okay, I will be right there.  When I walked in the door by the office I saw several kids walking around in their pajamas.  PJ day and we forgot/didn't know.  (I looked at the bulletin and did not see it anywhere)  As soon as Jack saw me he smiled and said "you dressed me in clothes!"  So we just went home and had a pajama day here.  Little faker was just mad that he was missing out on pj day.  It is so normal!

like getting back on a bike?

I have never been a very prolific blogger but even for me it has been a super long time between posts.  If I want this to be a diary/memory book of sorts, I am not doing a very good job.  So, I am going to try and get back into this little blog.

This fall and beginning of winter has gone fast.  I can't believe Jack is pretty much halfway done with kindergarten already.  Crazy!  He is doing good and everyday I notice that he is a little more mature, more of a big kid.  There have been tears a few mornings but overall he is resigned to the fact that he has to go in the morning and seems to be okay with it.   Charley hasn't gone back to pre-school since September.  I guess we will just keep him home with me until next Fall and then send him to pre-K.  I am really okay with that and enjoy our alone time during the day.  He is so funny and sweet even if he is a turd sometimes.  He never went through the terrible 2's or 3's instead he was a cute,sweet little munchkin.  But 4?  Kind of a different story.  His big thing lately is to say, "I love my daddy, I don't love my mommy."  I know he is just letting me know that he is a daddy's boy right now.  Big time :)

 My sweet friend Jessica was home for the holidays from Texas. I haven't seen her in at least 2 years.  I also got to meet her very nice husband Brandon.  I have missed this girl so much.  I hope we don't let it go too long before our next visit.

 We also made it to New Jersey for a visit with my parents and my little sister Brooke was there from Florida.  We had such a great visit even if it did go way too fast.  John and my dad cooked the best dinners for us.  We had prime rib one night that was one of the best things I have ever eaten.

 Speaking of good food!  John and I like to watch Man Vs. Food sometimes and on one episode he was in Philadelphia at the Reading Station and was talking about this sandwhich.  Since we were so close and all we had to try it.  That place was very cool.  Just a huge indoor food market.  Think of the worlds best food court.  I love this picture because it has all my favorite guys in it.  John, Charley, Jack and my dad.  Pretty cool.

 Just a fun picture from instagram on my iphone.  They are doing cute hugging wrestling instead of scratch your brother's eye out wrestling for a change.  And I have evidence now that sometimes they are cute.

All 3 of them on Christmas Eve.  Sigh  What a fun night and even more fun morning the next day.  Now that Mackenzie is 19 and living with her dad, I don't get to see this very often.  I had some tears Christmas day when she left to go back to her dad's.  We don't have enough sleepovers since she moved out.

Well,  that kinda sorta catches me up a little bit.  Next time on kookas I will probably get more serious and about my baby fever or something else super exciting.  hmmm no wonder it is so long in between posts.

No morning people around here

It is only October but I am already looking forward to a holiday or in service day or....even a snow day. Although, I hope the latter is off in the future a little bit.

We are getting into a routine and haven't been late once. It is just so slow going. At least this year Jack is darn right easygoing compared to last year. Still some whining but no serious meltdowns. It feels like he accepts that he has to go. It just feels somuch better than putting a dragging,kicking, and screaming Jack on the bus. THAT broke my heart. I can totally take slow moving Jack....I just have hard times staying on track myself when I just want to cuddle with them.

P.S. Ummm yeah, they totally started head butting about 2 minutes after I took this picture.

iLove iPhone

OMG! I can't believe I finally have an iPhone and I totally get what all the hype is about. My mom has been raving about hers since the first model came out. I still have so much to learn but .....so excited I found the blogger app.

Kindergarten Krazy!!

Jack started kindergarten today, regular kindergarten, all day kindergarten, I am freaking out kind of kindergarten.  I am so excited and nervous for him.  I have had butterflies in my stomach since yesterday.  If you asked me a year ago if I thought he would be in regular kindergarten I would have a hard time answering.  Last year he wasn't even in pre-k for the whole day, still having to get pulled out for special ed parts of the day.  We had him looked at again for autism or something on the spectrum but he still doesn't fit on the spectrum.  He just does some things that are quirky and sometimes he doesn't know how to handle social situations.  He gets nervous..makes funny faces, or weird noises at other kids sometimes.  I don't know if some of his things he will grow out of or if he is just always going to be a little bit different.  Probably more of the latter and I am okay with that.  I just hope the other kids understand and he makes some friends.  I want him to fit and make some friends and I fear that he will always be on the outside looking in a little.  But I guess that is normal to wonder what the future holds for your little (big) kindergartner no matter who they are, right?

He is still going to need some help with occupational and physical therapy.  So he will get pulled out periodically for that and they also have a room that they can bring him when he gets overstimulated which will probably happen.  I am hoping not very often but it is there for when he needs it.  He gets frustrated easily, especially when he is being asked to do something that is hard for him to do.  Like writing and coloring and cutting and lots of the things they do in kindergarten daily.

I think we are in a good school though and I will just have to believe and trust that we are in the perfect place for us and so far it feels good.

 One of Jack's first words was apple and he freaking loves that word apple.  He likes to google it lately.  He also carried a wooden apple around a lot when he was like 2.  Right above the doorknob in that little yellow apple is the name Jack.  I think that is a good sign right?

New Jersey

On our way to Grandma and Grandpa's for a week.  Yay vacation and 12 hour car rides.

 Totally unrelated but still cute.  And I hope we have no rain for our long drive.  I hate driving in the rain.

summer vacation

I haven't posted in so long that I had forgot how to log in.  I think after such a long blah spring that once summer finally got here.....I haven't bee here.  Ahhh, but this summer is going too fast.  I am sad that we are just a couple of days away from August and that school supplies are the main display in the grocery stores instead of grilling supplies.

The biggest thing that happened to us this summer was this....

 We were having such a good and promising to be even more fun on the weekend of July 4th.  Life had other plans on July 3rd.  We went over to our friend's house for a bbq and within 5 minutes of being there Mr. Charley daredevil fell off the top of their backyard slide.  I didn't see it happen but I heard him crying and expected to just calm him and kiss a boo boo.  One look at the boo boo, though and I almost passed out.  Arms are not supposed to look like the that... I thought, as I went into tunnel vision and almost passed out.  John wasn't there at the time... he was on a bike ride and was going to be there for dinner.  So one of my kind friends drove Charley and I to the ER and Jack stayed behind.  John was able to meet us at the ER within minutes which was good because I was freaking out!!  Charley broke his forearm in 2 places and he was such a trooper.  They had to sedate him to re-set the bones and we couldn't have asked for a better group of people to take care of him.  The bad thing was you have to wait a week for the swelling to go down before you can get another x-ray and get the cast so we had a week with the fiberglass splint and ace bandage to keep dry and keep protected.  Try that in the middle of summer with a 3 year old.


But then one week later we got the hard cast (not waterproof :(  )

 But at least sturdy and we could go to the park and play areas without me worrying about him hurting his arm further.  When he got his cast he noticed his thumb was separated from the rest of his fingers and he asked me "why can't he play with his friends?"  So we had big ole ugly glow in the dark not waterproof cast for 2 weeks.


Now we have smaller red waterproof cast.  Yeah!!!  

We have already been to the splash pad twice.  We still have to stay away from sand they recommend not going into lake water but hey we will take being able to take baths and going to the splash pad for now.  It is finally summer and it is hot this year and I LOVE it.  Even on some of the most humid, hot days, I really don't mind.  The sun is blue the clouds are beautiful and it is wonderful.  And I am most happy that while it was traumatizing to have my 3 year old break his arm and I was so worried about his pain and stress....it was just a broken arm.  He was pretty high up when he fell and it could have been something so much worse.  I don't want to even go there, but you know...... you know?

Jack is 6

Jack turned 6 last week.  It is so hard to believe that it has already been 6 years since he came into this world.  And doesn't 6 just sound so old?  His birthday fell on the last day of school before summer break.  He had physical therapy that morning and then we stopped and brought cookies for him to bring to school.  When he got out of school we met some friends at the zoo.  And then it was home to wait for daddy and tear into his presents.  I think he had a great day.  I don't worry about him even a quarter as much as I used to.  He is funny and sweet and so smart.  It is hard to believe that there was a time not so far away that I worried about autism or other things.  He is still quirky and has anxiety over certain things.  And he still acts kooky sometimes when he is nervous or in uncomfortable situations.  But that is part of what makes him Jack and I think he is pretty awesome.  




Here is a little interview with my 6 year old:


What is your favorite color:  red


What is your favorite tv show: spongebob and scooby doo


What is your favorite food:  salami


(Jack's question)  What is your favorite opposite: up and down


 (Jack's question)  What is your favorite game:  Zoodles(internet website)

This was their favorite thing at the zoo. Jack and Charley with our good friends

Birthday boy

Finally present time, I love how Charley is just hovering.

Right before Charley took his fork and just dug in.

Love you, my sweet 6 year old boy!!