this one imperfect awesome life: There is light

I have been feeling better the last few days. I want to say thanks if anyone read this and sent some prayers my way. I'm sure that it didn't hurt. I think I know why I was feeling SO blue and so crabby though. A small part of it is probably my normal winter blues/seasonal depression but I think 95% of it is Ambien. I didn't take it for a few nights last week and while I didn't fall asleep super easily.... I woke up in a whole different kind of mood. No tears for no reason and I didn't feel like I wanted to yell at everyone all of the time for oh I don't know... breathing. I am glad that I think I know the reason so I can stop thinking that I should be committed somewhere but I am going to miss my Ambien. I might still take it on the nights where I have to work the next day(because, oh my gosh I get so worked up about the idea of having to work) because I want to make sure I go to sleep at a decent time for my 5 am wake up call. But if it is too tempting to take it on other nights I might just have to flush them. I really do think that was the problem because ummmmmmmm it is amazing how different I felt just from not taking it 2 nights in a row. Bummer though, I will miss you, super easy pass out kind of sleep.

Let's see........nothing else very exciting to report here. It is still COLD here and we still have icky snow. I just want to see some grass and cement and oh I don't know......not have to pack boots,mittens,hat, and snowpants in Jack's backpack everyday. Plus, I just want to open all of our windows and get some fresh air in here. It stinks like little boys, big John and stinky dogs right now.

Oh yeah, Charley bug got pink eye. Poor guy woke up Saturday morning with a goopy eye and by Monday morning we were heading for the pediatrician's office. Those little peepers were glued shut. Now we get to put drops in 4 times a day for 7 days. It takes 2 of us to hold that little 30 pounder down. He is little but scrappy, Jack better watch it.

Oh yeah, and the hand thing with Jack is still a little weird but he is using his hands and not holding them out in front of him anymore. He just can't handle if they get dirty at all but maybe that is okay. I am going to try and not make a big deal of it and maybe it too will just pass.